I read an advice column yesterday. The reader was a married woman who longed for her husband to give her flowers. She asked and asked, but her husband dug in his heals and refused to even consider it. The columnist told the woman to stop being so controlling and get over it. I wanted to cry. Here is what I wrote to the columnist:
“I’d like to offer a different perspective about the woman who wants flowers. I wanted flowers too. My first husband bought me jewelry that I didn’t want and didn’t like. My now husband paid attention when I said I wanted flowers. It’s 16 years since we met and I still receive flowers almost every week and am thrilled every time. He says he did a cost benefit analysis and I’m worth it. The message I receive every time I get flowers is that he was thinking about me and how he could make me feel special. Getting that message all the time is magic.”
Ray and I learned that showing love your way is great, but it’s even greater when you show love in the way the other person wants to receive it.